Real hope is a good thing, because it can carry us though difficult times. But empty wishing can keep us stuck in dysfunctional relationships and self-destructive patterns. How do we distinguish between the two? In this message, we figure it out by getting in touch with reality. The diagnostic questions mentioned in the video are posted below.
Helpful Diagnostic Questions:
What is the reality of this situation? What kind of person am I dealing with here, given their track record?
Do I want this same reality six months from now? Do I want to be having these same conversations with the same person two years from now? If the answer is “No!” then ask . . .
Do I have any good reasons to believe that spending more time doing the same thing is going to get me a different result? Should I continue to give this person the same level of trust, or do I need to redraw the boundaries in this relationship?
What would be a realistic hope in this situation, and what can I change about the way I am operating to move in that direction? Do I need to end this relationship or end an old way of relating to this person (so I can try something new)?